Is your Marriage on Life Support? 9 Warning Signs

life support monitor

Marriage in Critical Condition?

For better or for worse… but when it does get worse, you may find yourself trying to decide if your marriage can still be revived or if it’s time to disconnect the monitor that’s barely keeping the marriage alive- even knowing that it will cause pain, disruption and many changes to come.

How can you tell if things have reached a point where your marriage is flashing that it’s now in critical condition?

Here are some questions to ask to assess the current state of health of your marriage:

  1. Is your partner self-absorbed and unwilling to accept responsibility for their part in your marital issues?
  2. Does your spouse often communicate with you while using a tone of contempt and disrespect?
  3. Is it more important to be ‘right’ in an argument rather than to compromise or negotiate with each other?
  4. Are you noticing that you spouse has altered their patterns of time away from you and/or become more secretive with their cell phone, computer or money?
  5. When your spouse becomes angry, do you feel intimidated when they block your path, make threats, limit your access to resources, act out physically or drive recklessly?
  6. Does your spouse use alcohol or drugs irresponsibly or have other addictions that are significantly impacting your relationship?
  7. Is your partner more concerned with ‘the image they present’ rather than dealing with the underlying dynamics of your marital and family relationships?
  8.  Have you lost trust and faith in your spouse?
  9. Do you find that most of your conversations are about practical day-to-day small talk and you feel disengaged from your partner on an emotional level?

If you are discovering that your marriage is on life support, it is very helpful to get some guidance and support from someone who has experience in these areas so that you can feel less stuck and more empowered to take back control of your life.

Whether you decide to stay in the marriage or make plans to separate or divorce, you’ll feel more confident about the decisions you are making right now and what direction you’ll take to move forward.


Please let me know your thoughts in the Comments Section below.


  1. Great questions, Nancy, even for those in a relationship where the decision to continue and grow or let go to go in a different direction. Thanks for the insight.

  2. I do believe you described my first marriage, and I had to get to all nine and then some before I pulled the plug. I jokingly tell people that I had wished my first marriage had come with a DNR. I kept trying to resuscitate when clearly, the life was already gone…

    I’ve learned from those mistakes and I’m over the moon happily married to the love of my life…

    Peggy (from UBC)

    Peggy Nolan