Warning: Backing Up will Result in Severe Tire Damage

Fear holds us back from moving forward

Fear of moving forward during divorce

You may remember having had the experience of leaving a parking lot area and seeing the following large red warning sign posted near the exit:

Warning: Backing up will Result in Severe Tire Damage!

When it comes to going through all the twists and turns that come along with major life transitions such as separation and divorce, I also keep that warning sign in mind.

So many times it happens that we are afraid of going forward so we panic and go back. We floor the gas pedal and go right back into those trusty and well-worn ruts in the road that we have stayed in for days, months and possibly even years.

I have found myself in this same place many times. Afraid to go forward, yet knowing full well that backing up is not a practical option and is likely to lead to further damages of mind, body and spirit.

Sometimes it is due to fear of the unknown. Or fear of the known- and that knowledge of what is coming next is something I don’t want to experience.

Many times the only way I’ve been able to find the courage to go forward even a little bit is with the help of a trusted friend, coach or therapist.

How do you find the courage to focus forward instead of going back?



Please let me know your thoughts in the Comments Section below.


  1. I have a huge decision that I’m dragging my feet in stead of making. The decision won’t affect me alone, so I don’t really want to make it. Everyone else advices me to go one way, and I will probably end up doing that if nothing changes.

  2. I am sorry you had to go through something like that. My mother in law has not moved forward and they have been divorced for over 40 years. I don’t know why she can’t move forward but she is not living her life, with only living in the past.

  3. Not making a decision is deciding. Life has a way of moving us forward whether we want to or not. So I guess it’s better to decide to move on your terms instead of someone else’s.