The Day my Marriage Fell Apart

Marriage Paper Ripped in Half

Marriage torn apart

It was quite early on the morning of Valentine’s Day when I discovered that my husband had left gifts for our two daughters on our kitchen table, yet there was nothing there for me.

Just two weeks before that day, I had confronted my husband directly, face to face about the fact that I had noticed that he was spending more and more time away from our beautiful new home and how he seemed distracted, distant and eager to start an argument with me over any minor thing.

Nothing I tried to do or say seemed to help us communicate better.

I shut the glass window paned doors to our den and asked him again. “As I asked you several weeks ago, I’m now asking you again… I am seeing signs that you are having an affair.  I need to know the truth even if it’s hard to hear. Are you in an affair?”

He sighed and then said, “I don’t think this is the right day for you to hear this. I am in an affair and I have strong feelings for her.”

I faced him feeling my entire body go numb and starting to freeze up with fear.

“Who is it with?” I asked, both wanting and not wanting to know the answer.

“I can’t tell you that.”

He then abruptly exited the den and calmly headed off to work, leaving me sitting in a dazed state of numbness, shock and the terrifying knowledge that our 15 year marriage would never hold the same significance to me again.

I crumpled up like a torn piece of paper and fell to the floor.

From that very moment forward, I now faced navigating through two worlds.

The world made up of the two of us sharing the challenges of marriage and raising our 3 children together, and that other new world– trying desperately to crack into the  tripled– locked safe that contained his complicated secret life.


Please let me know your thoughts in the Comments Section below.


  1. Congrats on sharing your story.

  2. Ugh! That makes my heart hurt, Nancy. You are so courageous to have found this outlet to give back to other women while working through it yourself. It’s brilliant! Much love to you!

  3. Marriage certainly can be a challenge. What a wonderful website to help those that are having to navigate the process.

  4. Have faith Nancy! It may seem very hard right now but it will get better and you will come out the other side a sttonger and happier woman because you will realise life in the future does not need to come with l’what ifs’. I was married for 21 years..,but I am happier now than I’ve ever been..,’Very helpful. FBI a pretty closed book to me! Thanks!

  5. My heart broke for you. I am going through a divorce as well, but in my case it’s just 2 people who maybe should have dated longer and gotten to know one another better. But it’s still heartbreaking, I have struggled with my feelings. Liking myself more when he’s not around, and then feeling guilty for it later. I think deciding to end it was probably the bet decision I ever made. Now we can both heal and move on.