Deciding to Divorce or Not

Green lit-up Exit Sign

Making the Decision to Divorce or not

Are you or someone you know considering separation or divorce?

When facing such a watershed decision like this, it is common to go back and forth about the pros and cons, positives and negatives, the good, the bad and the ugly!

When the two possible decisions that run in place over and over again inside your mind are either to stay in a struggling marriage or to file for divorce, this either/or thinking process is often emotionally exhausting and very frustrating.

What exactly does it mean to decide?

The word ‘decide’ has the root ‘cide’ in it which means that something gets cut off or dies. (for example: homicide, herbicide, pesticide) This finality may be more than you can emotionally manage right now.

Instead of looking at the decision or whether to divorce or not with this type of black and white thinking,  it is more empowering and less exhausting to widen up your thinking process by considering every possible choice you could make at this time.

Yes, write down at least 5 or more choices!

This may even include making the choice to not take any action toward divorce until you feel more certain and less confused and exhausted.

Although many people turn to relatives or friends to help them decide whether to divorce or not, you may find it more valuable to talk things thorough with someone who does not have any hidden agenda or allegiance to anyone involved in your personal situation.

By consulting with a trained divorce strategist and co-parenting coach, you can be assured that you will receive guidance, ideas and support to figure out all your potential choices and options available.

You can also benefit from their experience, neutrality and confidentiality as you choose to move forward through divorce or not.



Please let me know your thoughts in the Comments Section below.


  1. Great post! I love the part about “cide”. Never thought of it that way before. And, yes, I do believe in taking a step back and maybe just not doing nothing for the time being.

  2. This is a nice post, as it sums up some simple ideas which can have dramatic impact – when I was making the decision I could have done with exercises like this – thanks for sharing it.

  3. I can relate to the going back and forth decision (lasted over 6 months) about divorcing. I think what it finally came down to was neither one of us was willing to work to try and change things.

  4. Nancy,
    Yours is such an important topic. Kudos to you for supporting people through such a difficult time.