Quiz: How Well Do You Manage Anger During Divorce?

 

Like other emotions, anger itself is neither bad nor good. It’s the behavior that follows the feeling that can be harmful or destructive. And, while anger is typically associated with aggression or violence, anger can be constructive, too. It can be the wind that blows a needed change through your life.

Anger During Divorce

Take the following quiz to find out if you use your anger to help or harm yourself. You won’t be scored at the end, but answer true or false to the following questions, and elaborate a bit on those that feel especially relevant.

 

T /F  1. When I’m feeling anger, I’m aware of certain physical responses in my body and mental signals in my mind.

T /F  2. Rather than striking out verbally or physically when I feel angry, I take a few deep breaths and pause before I react.

T /F  3. I realize that sometimes my anger is not based on the current situation, that I am responding to something in my life that is unresolved.

T /F  4. When I feel angry, I don’t try to bury, minimize or discount my feelings. I acknowledge my emotions.

T /F  5. Rather than blaming someone else for my anger, I take responsibility for it.

T /F  6. I work on understanding what provokes my anger so I can develop techniques for managing it.

T /F  7. I use techniques such as writing an unsent letter to who or what I feel angry about, putting all my feelings down on paper without holding back. I never send these letters.

T /F  8. I also use physical outlets for my angry feelings such as exercise, housework, or other kinds of physical expressions. I stomp my feet or close myself in my car and yell or beat up my pillow.

T /F  9. When I’m angry with someone, I talk to him/her about it. I make clear, specific “I” statements: “I’m angry because ________________.” I stay with the single issue that has caused my anger.

T /F  10. I try to put myself in the other person’s shoes. I realize that I am wrong sometimes and acknowledge when I am.

T /F  11. I find a neutral person I can talk to about my anger. Sometimes we role-play the situation, and sometimes he/she just listens while I talk it out.

T /F  12. I try to avoid or eliminate annoyances and nuisances so that they don’t progress to anger. (Broken screen doors, long lines at the bank, loud music, rush hour traffic)

T /F  13. I never become physically or emotionally threatening, or physically or emotionally abusive.

T /F  14. I use relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or imagery-focusing to help diffuse my anger.

T /F  15. I let go of the past and don’t drag along resentments that can start brush fires.

T /F  16. I understand that the world is sometimes unfair, unjust and out of my control. I do what I can to change the things I can and accept the things I can’t.

T /F  17. I recognize when I need help managing my anger, and ask for it.

If you have any questions about this anger quiz, or would like to talk about ways to manage your own anger, please don’t hesitate to call Divorce Coach Nancy Kay at (740) 919-1248 for your Free Consultation

 

 

 

Author’s content used under license, © 2008 Claire Communications

 

 

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