I believe that one of the hardest realizations that comes from going through divorce is the upsetting discovery that your emotional energy tank is not only rapidly getting lower, it may be heading for Empty.
Counselor and Author Dr. Jim Talley, describes it in the following way: “All our energy is being burnt up. Emotionally we’re spinning. We’re just going round and round. It’s like we’re running our engine wide open, but we’re in neutral. We’re not going anywhere, yet we can’t shut the motor off.” With all this emotional energy going out during divorce rather than in, it is no wonder that we can find ourselves misplacing our favorite items, forgetting to respond to emails and phone calls, even struggling with doing the basics like remembering which grocery items to pick up or forgetting to focus on the road while driving because our minds are filled with distractions.
“Up to 85% of our energy is being consumed in the emotional area. That leaves us with 5% mental, 5%spiritual and 5 % physical,” according to Dr. Talley. With this in mind, we can benefit by treating ourselves more gently with the understanding that this emotional energy shortage is common and gradually improves over time. Trying to force ourselves to have more energy sooner can lead us to becoming angry or disappointed with ourselves, while accepting this as a typical and an expected part of the process will enable us to see it as a necessary part of the process through healing and recovery. To find out more about how working with a Divorce Coach can help to increase your energy levels, please see my Services.